Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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