i'm signing you up for texting rehab
kristin has been a bad kristin
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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