don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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