did you get engaged???
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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