So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
