were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
