Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
