It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
