i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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