It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize