ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
