Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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