Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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