butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
