youre lurking in front of me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
