yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
