Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
