I wish I could punch you in the face.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
