its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
