just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
