is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
