I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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