so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
