i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
