honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize