This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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