Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
