I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
