hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
