So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
