you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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