I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think my nap took me to another dimension
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize