Sponge bath it is.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
