We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
