I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
