i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
