But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
