Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
