so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
