another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
