dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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