we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
