I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
