you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
