Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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