apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
