doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
