So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
