I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
