Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
