yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
