I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
