I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
