my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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