I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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