i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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