What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
