Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
