Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
honey bunches of taint.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
