How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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