I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Drunk is a universal language darling
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
