Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
