We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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